The-Way-to-Say-It Conversation

The Way to Say It is not just about finding the right words. The Way to Say It is a kind of conversation that steps into rather than shies away from difficult, challenging and uncomfortable topics. It is a mindset that says, “Let’s resolve this,” rather than “Let’s ignore it.”

It’s a belief that honest, direct conversation is more productive than beat-around-the-bush conversation. The Way to Say It is about continuing to improve our communication skills whether we are at home, at work, in a group or with one individual, young or old, self-employed or in the corporate

The Way to Say It is ALWAYS:

  • Honest and authentic
  • Direct and clear
  • Free of blame and attack
  • Without judgment
  • Intent on creating understanding and resolution
  • Free of sarcasm
  • Personally responsible
  • Able to say what needs to be said (not just what’s comfortable)
  • Willing to listen as well as speak
  • Calm and neutral
  • Free of manipulation
  • Brave and bold

I’m totally committed to this type of conversation whatever the topic. It’s an ongoing process…finding the right words, the right tone, the right approach to make all conversations bridges rather than dividers.

What topics do you find difficult in conversation? What communication challenge do you have questions about? I invite you to share, ask, speak, and follow me on this blog as we explore The Way to Say It  as a way of life.



  1. Maria Delis says:

    I feel once the divider goes up it gets more difficult to be all those things… I reach out and the other person doesn’t open up..what should I do? Keep trying? Wait until they are ready?
    Thank you for your insight!

    • Good question Maria. It IS more difficult when the divider goes up! We want to just shut down, but that only deepens the divide. Some alternatives to consider: take a deep breath, regroup and see if you can speak even more calmly, neutrally…with no tone. Next be direct but gentle saying something like, “I understand this is a hard conversation, but let’s stay with it and see if we can work through it. We both want resolution.” Sometimes one of us does need time to process. If you sense that is the case again, just ask,….smiling and light…”Hey, I’m not gonna let us stay stuck with this so you’re not off the hook, but do you need time to sleep on this? We can talk about it in the morning.” These ideas will help you find your right words. See if you can stay committed to solution even when those divides come up!