Search Results for: own your stuff

Four Steps to Own Your Stuff

no excuses on wallWe all have them and many are actually true. There IS traffic on the freeway. The kids DO get sick. We sometimes DO forget a commitment, but the problem with excuses is that we hide behind them and use them as an out. We should be owning our stuff, taking responsibility for being late or having to cancel or not following through.

Excuses are so commonplace we don’t even hear them anymore. They barely register as we explain ourselves away, or as we listen to a litany of excuses from others. To quote Mark Nicole of Productive Learning & Leisure, “You can either have the results you want or your reasons for why not…but not both.”  Excuses undermine our success, our reputations, and even our belief in ourselves.

In your next conversation, rather than resort to justifications, tune in to your words. Hear yourself. Notice the chronic need to explain. Why we didn’t finish a project. Why we weren’t on time. Why we didn’t call back. Ugh.  It’s exhausting for both the listener and the excuse giver.

Rationalizing, justifying, and explaining are just other names for this behavior. Whatever we call it, constantly resorting to justifying our actions and choices is disempowering. This habit attempts to shirk personal responsibility, but in the end, doesn’t really get us off the hook. It simply makes us look unreliable.

Excuse-making is a habit that can be broken. Next time you drop the ball, forget to return a call, or arrive late, instead of slipping into excuse-land, take these two steps:

  1. Apologize sincerely and succinctly. That means no b.s., no reasons, no justifications. Just apologize and own it. No reason is needed. Begin with an “I” statement.   “I’m sorry for being late” or “My apologies for not returning your call.” End of story.
  2. Determine how to set things right. Then do it. Reschedule or recommit or pick up where you left off, but be sure you keep any new commitment you make. Otherwise, don’t make one at all. You get ONE shot to set things straight and save your reputation.
  3. Regroup. Take a few minutes for yourself to determine if this particular action is a frequent occurrence with you that needs cleaning up. If it was an isolated incident, you’re good to go. None of us are on it all the time. However, if when you assess you discover a recurring theme in your actions, ask yourself what change you must make to stop this pattern. For example: if you are chronically ten minutes late, vow to book yourself with a fifteen-minute buffer built in. Or vow to NOT do that “one more thing” before you leave for an appointment or commitment. For many of us, that one more thing makes us late time and time again.
  4. Move on. Assuming you completed the above steps, take a breath and turn the page. Avoid making the issue bigger than it was. .

These simple steps will help you stop making excuses and begin taking responsibility for your actions. Others will find you more credible, authentic, and reliable. This approach is so rare in our culture, you will actually stand out.  Everyone makes mistakes. The difference is in being brave enough to own them rather than hide behind excuses. There’s no excuse for excuses.

Put on Your Big Boy Pants: Have that Tough Conversation NOW

road block

Road blocks to difficult conversations exist only in your head!

What’s stopping YOU from having the difficult conversation lurking in your head?  

Is it……?

Procrastination……Fear of rejection……Fear of anger……Embarrassment……Not knowing the way to say it……Fear of reprisal……Shoot the messenger fears……Your own discomfort…..You’re afraid you’ll be emotional……Your fear of their reaction–uh oh!……Not wanting to face the truth……You’re STILL waiting for the right moment……Your refuse to own your own your stuff..….Fear you might lose control……They should come to YOU…..Certainty that YOU’RE right……You are much too hurt……You don’t believe in talking about such things……You can’t admit you were wrong……You’re waiting for THEM to go first……You just don’t know where to begin……You tried already……You think, “Oh, it will all just blow over”……You don’t believe it will make a difference?

ostrich

Is this you?

Whatever the reason is (or reasons) for your delay, the end result is the same. Nothing and I mean NOTHING improves when you avoid an uncomfortable, difficult conversation regardless of all the excuses you make in your head.

According to J.D. Schramm in Harvard Business Review, “Often our fear of having the conversation with somebody about a sensitive subject can be worse than having the conversation itself. We put off bringing up a tough subject because we are waiting for the “perfect opportunity.”

But the uncomfortable truth, the truth we all know, is this:  there is no perfect opportunity. If we wait, the conversation will never happen.

We have to just put on our big boy pants and do it. WE need to make the first move regardless of who spoke last, or who we think is wrong, or exactly what happened, or who we think SHOULD reach out first. We need to take a breath and begin.

go sign

Follow these tips to help you get started on that difficult conversation you’re avoiding:

  1. Write out your thoughts – If time allows, write. Write how you think you’d say it, without the anger and without the judgment. Consider it brainstorming. You’ll find both things not- to-say, and things very well said. Use your writing as a guide.
  2. Make a commitment.  If you’ve been procrastinating, set a time frame. Say to yourself (or even better, to someone who will hold you accountable) I’ll have this conversation by tomorrow, two days from now, a week from now. Just set a date that is close enough to break through your procrastination.
  3. Come up with a few good openers. Make sure you have one or two good opening lines to start off the conversation. Rule of thumb is:  be real, express yourself honestly (even if you have to say you are somewhat nervous), and be direct. Get right to what you want to talk about. No beating around the bush.
  4. Keep it private. If the topic is stressful enough to qualify as a tough conversation to you, regardless of what anyone else thinks, then privacy is a must. Never begin one of these talks in earshot of others, unless they, too, are part of the conversation.
  5. Tolerate imperfection. These talks are challenging. That means they often won’t be perfect. With that in mind, congratulate yourself for facing the issue instead of judging yourself for not saying it perfectly.  Even an average job of a difficult conversation IS an accomplishment.

None of us can avoid difficult conversations in life. They are a part of life. Unless you are a hermit, you might as well begin to develop this skill now.

Instead of avoiding the conversation, you’ll avoid the drama that unexpressed issues create. Problems, misunderstanding and disagreements not brought to light, create relationship issues and ongoing stress. As Kevin O’Leary (also known as “Mr. Wonderful” from The Shark Tank), would say, “Stop the madness.” Have the conversation and the sooner you do, the easier it will be.

Office Talk: Ten Changes to Make Now

watch your mouth

 To immediately improve your communications at home and in the office, make these “don’ts” rules to live by.

Don’t begin sentences with “honestly, truthfully, frankly, or to be honest.”  Doing so implies that what you said before might not be honest. If you are honest in your communications, you will never need to say so. Your words will speak for themselves.

 

Avoid adding “but” between sentences. Use “and” instead. “But” negates everything you said before it.

 

Don’t use absolutes like “you always” or “you never.”  It’s rarely true and doing so exaggerates, quickly making people defensive.

 

Don’t let your tone and body language contradict each other. Get all aspects of yourself in line. If your tone is carries a different meaning than your choice of words, your listener will always go with the tone.

 

Don’t be a steam roller  OR  a pushover.  Neither extreme is effective in business or in relationships. Find a balance of being firm and assertive, while also being open and flexible.

 

Don’t “collect stamps” saving up old “wrongs” to use later as surprise attacks in conversation. Deal with issues when they occur. Don’t collect them for later. Stuffing issues only makes them fester and expand.

 

Don’t beat around the bush. Good communications can be challenging enough. Don’t complicate things by beating around the bush and making your listener work to figure out what your words mean.  Just get to the point with direct, clear statements.

 

Don’t deliver your feedback and bad news in a “sandwich” surrounded by positive words. Combining good and bad news as a sandwich is confusing and misses the point. If you have bad news to deliver, or negative feedback, speak up. Be honest and straight so your listener can hear the real message. 

 

Don’t come in guns blazing without thinking through your intentions and approach for a difficult conversation. Especially when the news is hard to hear, be sure you don’t just shoot from the hip unprepared. Think things through….then speak.

 

Don’t say “You  made me feel……..”  When sharing your feelings, own them. Don’t shift your feelings to be someone else’s responsibility. Start your sentences with “I”, not “you.” 

 

Making these simple changes in your conversations will have an immediate impact. Your listener will feel more at ease and you’ll find the entire communication easier, and less tense.

Give it a shot…try a few of these and then let me know in “comments” how your next difficult conversation goes using all or any of these rules. After you’ve mastered these rules, share them with your department and watch communications improve for everyone!

Ten Questions to Stop a Complaining Employee

Day at the office started off well enough, until your employee started in again complaining about his coworker.  Not only is it getting old, it is wasting valuable time and distracting your employee from his work.

He is focused on the co-worker, not his own stuff.  What SHOULD be different. What isn’t right or fair or logical.  Wah. Wah. Wah. He can see only what should be, rather than what is.

stop whining and find something to do

Assuming, for your own reasons, the co-worker is valuable and isn’t going anywhere, this issues needs addressing.

Here are some great questions to help your employee change his perspective:

1.  “What makes you certain your way is right? Can you step back and accept that others have “their” way?”

2.   “Are you willing to help your co-worker out to get on the same page?”

3.   “What can YOU do differently to shift this situation? Or to shift your feelings about it?”

4.   “What would happen if you simply ignored all of this?”

5.   “How might you be contributing to this situation?”

6.   “What is the cost to you of focusing on them rather than yourself?”

7.   “Imagine being able to just let it go. What would that be like for you? How would things be different for you? “

8.   “Instead of focusing on what they are doing wrong, are you willing to spend the next week looking for what they do right?  What their contribution is? Their value?”

9.  “In the big scheme of things, is this all that important?”

10.  “What humor or insight can you find in this?”

Frequently some of the best “workers” are the most vocal about others whose output or system doesn’t match their own.  Most likely BOTH employees are valuable or I’m assuming you would have made a staffing change, right?

Use these questions (not all at once, simply pick and choose a few to begin) to coach your distraught employee into seeing things differently.  Keep in mind, your employee must feel valued by you for these questions to be well received.  As always with “the way to say it”, your delivery and tone are as important, if not more important, than the words you choose.

By creating a simple shift in your employee’s perspective, you can alleviate the friction and redirect him back to his own work, plus get some peace of mind yourself.

Tell me…how have you successfully, or even not so successfully, handled these situations in the past? Love to hear your comments and ideas. [contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Website’ type=’url’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]

 P.S. Your complaining employee could be a “he” or a “she.”

 

Three Sneaky Communications Habits That Undermine Trust

sneaky eyesNot everyone practices direct communication. Rather than lean in and say what needs saying, some folks use a number of approaches that are downright sneaky. Here are three sneaky communication patterns that undermine trust and building great connections.   

Using an Unknowing Messenger:  Some sneaky communicators plant a bit of important information with a third party, someone they know will run back to the intended receiver and share that information. The sneak never has to deliver the bit of news themselves. Instead they rely on a family member or a colleague to deliver the news for them.  

Let’s say in a particular family, one of the adult siblings visits aging mom every Christmas, but this year the sibling has other plans and is avoiding telling mom he won’t be home for the Holidays. Instead of picking up the phone and explaining the situation, he talks to another sibling about it. By sharing his change in plans with his brother or sister, who’s in close contact with mom, he is pretty much guaranteed the news will be delivered to mom. It lessens the blow of his news that he is not traveling home for Christmas and avoids the uncomfortable, i.e., difficult conversation.

This conversation, or lack of one, relies on a communication triangle to deliver the tough stuff. Often the in-between person doesn’t even realize he’s become the messenger, taking the info back to the listener, in this case mom. The message sender is off the hook to deliver the bad, uncomfortable or difficult news.

Keeping Secrets: Another sneaky communication pattern is one of secret keeping.  There are three parties, two who are talking together, and one who’s being kept in the dark. The secret keepers withhold information from the third person who should be in the loop.

Some mothers encourage their daughters to keep secrets from their husbands. Whether it’s small unimportant topics, or more critical issues, the problem is it establishes a pattern of wives withholding from their own husbands all for the sake of connecting and sharing with their moms. Such behavior undermines the trust and honesty necessary for any good relationship, let alone a good marriage. Sometimes it’s the husbands, or even a parent and child keeping secrets from the other parent. Regardless of the duo involved, the result is the same. Broken trust, sneaky communication, and a recipe for future problems.

Omitting Bits of Information: I have to warn you, not everyone agrees with me on this topic. Omission.  To some people omitting bits of information is not lying.  And to that I say, “Yeah right!”

When we’re on the receiving end of omission, we tend to not think it’s cool at all. We feel miffed at the least and downright angry in more serious circumstances. If it’s not ok when you’re the listener, then it’s not ok as the deliverer of info either.  Imagine someone dear to you, or your employee, or your boss assures you they are telling you the truth, the facts, the whole picture.  Then you discover that in reality, their message includes only some of the facts. Your team member or partner is telling you the truth….ha…….just not ALL of it. And more often than not, the omitted info completely changes the picture.

Telling the truth means telling all of it, not just the easy or convenient parts.  Intentionally leaving out a few facts, or dates or thoughts often changes the interpretation, the meaning, the conclusion drawn.  For the sneaky communicator, THAT is the intention, to change the meaning of the communication by what is NOT said.

If your goal is to enhance your relationships at work or home, these three sneaky communications pattern will undermine that goal.  To become powerful communicators and create great results, we must learn to speak up, directly, honestly and in the most uncomfortable situations.  Anything less, anything sneaky just won’t do. 

 

25 Habits that Kill Great Communication

Stop making difficult conversations harder than they need to be.

Stop making difficult conversations harder than they need to be.

The Way to Say It  is about more than just choosing the right words.  It’s also about what NOT to say and how NOT to behave.  It’s about conversational habits we need to break and remove from our difficult conversations. 

Many of these behaviors are so habitual we don’t even realize how they block powerful communication and sabotage our very efforts. Each of these 25 habits undermines trust, creates distance and keeps us from our conversational goals.  

What’s the point of stepping into a difficult conversation only to make things worse with your attitude or tone of voice, or even passive-aggressive behavior?

Learning to master difficult conversations takes effort. Make sure your tough talks don’t include any of these bad habits. 

Here are the behaviors that need to go:      

    1. Blaming others  while believing we are guilt free
    2. Using a sarcastic tone of voice
    3. Blind siding with a surprise attack
    4. Taking a defensive stance
    5. Attacking by using “you” statements
    6. Avoiding the actual subject
    7. Dancing around the issues with implications and vagueness
    8. Pretending all is well
    9. Fighting dirty with name calling or intentionally hurtful dialog,
    10. Talking over others
    11. Being a poor listener
    12. Playing the “I’m right, you’re wrong” card
    13. Saying the right words with the wrong tone
    14. Wanting to prove your point rather than resolve issues
    15. Making the issue public
    16. Not owning your stuff, your feelings
    17. Dismissing others’ opinions
    18. Patronizing and belittling others
    19. Interrupting others’ talk
    20. Not acknowledging honest effort of others
    21. Being dishonest
    22. Withholding the truth
    23. Avoiding eye contact
    24. Multi-tasking rather than being present
    25. Making excuses for your behavior

Which of these habits are yours? Most likely some, if not many, of these habits are things you have done when conversations are challenging. We all do. Especially  when we’re angry, hurt or impatient. To really lean into tough conversations and create dynamic, clear, honest connection, we need to eliminate these behaviors.

It may not be reasonable to expect to break all your bad communication habits, after all we generally learn them from our families and these habits go back years. But that is no excuse for continuing what is counter productive. One by one, we can learn the way to say it with respect, without tone, listening and owning our part and really breaking through to resolve issues and create powerful results.                                                                                           

something newFirst, we need to raise our awareness so we realize which destructive communication habits are ours. Once we identify the communication styles that are hampering our success, then little by little we can substitute a healthy alternative  that fosters trust, builds connection, and breaks down barriers rather than creating  new ones.

It’s a new year! How about starting off by observing your communication habits and admitting which ones are killing your communications?

How to Shift Gears, Save Time & Avoid Conflicts When You’re in a Bad Mood

warning bad mood in progressI’m a strong proponent of direct, honest, clear communication in just about every situation. That includes days when we are not at the top of our game. Or to be more direct, days we’re in a bad mood.

I recall times as a child trying to decipher body language, facial expressions and energy of adults. Trying to figure out if things were “safe” or if I needed to lay low.  Not knowing for sure what was up meant walking on eggshells till things calmed down.

I still don’t get why it had to be so difficult. Why not just say it?

It’s natural to have bad mood moments or even days. We shouldn’t feel guilty or stuff the feelings pretending they don’t exist. When denied, those feelings only intensify.

Why not just say it? I’m in a bad mood today. I’m having a tough morning. I’m not myself. I’m out of sorts. If we can just say it, the people around us will know to give us love or patience, or to just get the hell out of the way till we return to a better frame of mind.

By being real and honest and owning what’s up for us, we will not only move through it more quickly, we’ll also help those around us understand what we need.  The trick is knowing the way to say it, so we won’t be at a loss for words.

To manage a mood and avoid misunderstandings that result when your team doesn’t know what’s wrong,  use simple direct “I” statements. They tell those around us clearly, that we’re off our game and need a little time.

Your “bad mood” warning could sound like this:

  • “Right now I’m in a bad mood.  I want you to understand it has nothing to do with you.”
  • “I’m sorry to say I’m in a bad mood right now. I don’t want to take it out on you.”
  • “I would appreciate your understanding. Today, I’m not feeling myself. If you can give me some distance this morning, it would be a help.”
  • “I am not feeling patient right now. I need some quiet time. Think you could give me some space till I can move through this?”
  • “Katy today is going to be a busy day at the office so I wanted to give you a head’s up. I had a horrible start to my morning and need some time to turn that around. I’ll check in with you in about an hour.”
  • “Mike, I’ve got some personal things on my mind right now and they’re affecting my mood. Just wanted to let you know, if I seem short, it has nothing to do with you.”
  •  “I need you to know I’m really angry right now, but not with you. If you can just leave me alone for a bit while I figure things out, I’d appreciate that.”

 Just say it! It will give you the space you need to shift gears without wasting the energy of those around you.

In the workplace, productivity won’t suffer with your employees tiptoeing around you not knowing what’s wrong or if it’s them you are angry at. And at home, everyone will relax when they learn you’re in a bad mood, but it has nothing to do with them.   warning proceed with caution

Pick your favorite line above. Or make up your own and give others warning when you’re not at your best. Everyone benefits.

The Way to Say It: 10 Reasons It Pays to Speak Up First

Someone's got to go first!

Don’t be a scaredy cat! Speak up.

As children we couldn’t wait to be first. First to raise our hands. Answer the teacher’s question. First to get in line. Somewhere along the line that all changed.

We began hesitating. Holding back. Suddenly we waited for someone else to go first.  We watched to see what THEY did, or what THEY said.

As adults, we avoid being the one to speak up first, especially when it means being open and vulnerable.  We think to ourselves…“Not me! Let someone else go first!”

But we miss out on so much by waiting! We stuff our true feelings. Awkwardness increases. What we want to say gets more and more difficult, the longer we wait. We get stuck in our heads.

I observed this pattern when I was 16 while vacationing with my family. In situation after situation, I noticed adults afraid to speak their minds and share their feelings, especially when they had to lead off, or break a long silence.  It struck me as particularly odd that even when it was a compliment or praise to share, most people STILL held back! No one wanted to go first!

I decided “not me.” I began taking the lead in honest, direct conversations.  I shared compliments with strangers. I asked probing questions. I shared my feelings openly. And I made some startling observations.  When I expressed my feelings, the benefits far outweighed the risks. Every time I paved the way, others followed my lead. They opened up to me, and fast!

People willingly dropped their guard, as long as they didn’t have to go to bat first. It made such an impression on me, I committed to GO FIRST.  It’s a choice I have stayed with.

children raising hands happy

Remember being like this?

We don’t have to hesitate.

We don’t have to wait for others to speak up.

We can express ourselves authentically.

Like the children we used to be, we can once again “go first.”  Here’s what we gain by being the initiator: 

  1. Awkwardness fades.  Everyone feels the same inside…anxious and awkward at the thought of these conversations.  Going first ends the discomfort. 
  2. Time is savedBreaking the ice ends the pattern of everyone waiting for SOMEONE else to lead. Someone really has to go first…why not you?
  3. Grace is givenWhat words you choose or how eloquent you are is less important than opening up the dialogue. No one worries cares if it was worded perfectly.    
  4. Respect grows. Speaking up earns you respect. You’ll be perceived as confident and brave.
  5. Trust builds.  Your honesty builds trust with others because you’re opening up.   
  6. Doors open. Others will be more responsive and open, following your lead. Be prepared!
  7. Speaking up gets easier. Over time it becomes natural, easy and comfortable to speak up.  
  8. Visibility expandsYou become the go-to person known for getting things started, for speaking the truth.   
  9. New behavior is modeled for others. Your example becomes a model for to follow.
  10. Connections develop. Starting conversations opens doors to develop connection and  understanding.

My choice to “go first” still serves me well.  I’ve gained the trust of others. People have shared their feelings more easily because they already knew mine. Going first has opened doors and hearts to me and made it well worth the sometimes risky business of leading off.   Occasionally I’ve taken some “shots” for opening up dialogues others wanted to avoid, but those experiences brought great lessons with them.

What about you? Do you go first?  Instead of pointing fingers at people in your life wondering why they aren’t open with you, ask yourself this:

“Am I making it easy for them to open up? Or do I just sit back and wait?”

Take an honest look at yourself today. Then give it a shot. Go first. I’m looking forward to hearing your experiences.

Six Steps to Initiating Difficult Conversations

Starting the conversation is the hard part.

Starting the conversation is the hard part.

There’s something about difficult conversations that keeps us stuck. We know we need to speak up, but instead we shut down. Rather than take action and get the conversation behind us, we obsess over it.

How should we say it? Will they get mad? How will they respond? Will they turn it around on us? What if they cry?  Suppose we lose control? What if, what if, what if. On and on we go. While we sit obsessing on what needs to be said, time passes. Tension builds. Resentment grows. The gap between us widens. Broaching the subject only gets harder as we procrastinate.

Nike built a zillion dollar brand on the slogan, Just Do It! Why not use that brilliance to inspire us? Waiting doesn’t make it easier. If you want easy, it is by far easier to jump in and handle the conversation than to wait.

Here are six steps to help you Just Do It with your difficult conversation:

  1. Know the goal  – What outcome do you want? In your mind, name that outcome…briefly and simply. Is it compromise? Understanding? Clearing the air? (If it isn’t a positive outcome…say for example, you want to punish them, or anger them, or get payback, then take no action. The Way to Say It is about coming from a positive place.)
  2. Be your “best” self  –  What’s that? It’s honest, direct, clear and calm, or at least even-tempered.  It also means having patience with others as well as owning your stuff.
  3. Don’t make issues bigger than they are  –  No extra drama. Nothing that is not relevant or necessary to reach understanding. Keep your wording brief and relevant. Less is best.
  4. Listen more than you speak  –  Know you only see one perspective, i.e., yours. By listening to what they have to say and sharing honestly yourself, you’ll learn their point of view and that is critical to resolution.
  5. Give up being right  –  Even if you are right, the goal is understanding. Understanding their point of view and feeling understood yourself.
  6. Accept how it turns out  –  Know that handling difficult conversations with grace takes practice. Accept that at first they may be messy, imperfect, but your efforts to step into these conversations are to be applauded. The conversation may be bumpy. Accept that. Focus on the outcome and congratulate yourself on your efforts.

As with most things in life, taking even the smallest step makes it all easier. Keep this in mind: the conversation itself is not the hardest part. It’s starting the conversation that turns us to stone.  It takes guts to be real, honest and direct.  The great news is more often than not, within minutes of initiating these conversations tension melts and relief floods in.

Next week,  I’ll share actual phrases,opening lines and words to say in these challenging conversations.

Welcome to The Way to Say It

Choosing the right words is a learned skill.

Choosing the right words is a learned skill.

 

Clients and friends have been sharing their concerns, fears, and challenges about the way to say it for years.  The way to word things. What to say in tough, uncomfortable conversations.

I hear comments like these about work:

“I can’t have THAT conversation cause I don’t know the way to say it”

“I want to end this drama and clear the air, but where do I begin? I have no idea what to say.” 

“I deserve a raise, but I just don’t know how to ask for it.

“I can’t talk to my boss at all. I’m   afraid of saying the wrong thing and getting fired.”

When it comes to tough conversations at home, things sound like this:

“I’m really mad at her, but I don’t know how to say it without ruining everything.”  

“No, we NEVER TALK ABOUT that!”

“I tried once to talk about that and I really screwed things up worse. It’s better to say nothing.”  

When it comes right down to it, most of us end up not saying it at all. Rather than work through our awkwardness or discomfort or fear of not being liked, we skip the difficult conversation altogether.

People worry. What if I say the wrong thing? What if they don’t understand me? What if I make things worse? Suppose they cry, or yell?  All sorts of fears come up around the way to say it. So rather than say it wrong, we say nothing. We stuff feelings. Withhold the truth. We just don’t say it. We procrastinate, ignore and silently hope the issue will go away.

Nope. Not a chance. Actually, things get worse when we ignore what needs to be said. Eventually we have to face the conversation, the talk, the issue, the truth, and by the time we do, our silence has created more damage, separation, distance and misunderstanding. Silence is not the answer. Issues don’t just go away and at some level we know this.

The answer….The Way to Say It. This blog is a place where you’ll find guidance, direction, ideas and real conversations about The Way to Say It regardless of what “it” is.  It might be about how to word a poor performance review, how to react to poor service, or how to request a raise. Or we’ll talk about those unspoken conversations at home, like what to say to your college graduate daughter when she moves back home, or even how to end an unhappy relationship. Whatever it is, The Way to Say It¸ is the place to learn to talk it through, to phrase it well, to face the conversation that we would really prefer to run from.  It’s about leaning in and saying what needs to be said and doing so with a certain amount of ease and grace.

The possibilities are tremendous and freeing, and I promise, it’s not as hard as it seems. Stay tuned for more blog posts, services and support on The Way to Say It!