I recall times as a child trying to decipher body language, facial expressions and energy of adults. Trying to figure out if things were “safe” or if I needed to lay low. Not knowing for sure what was up meant walking on eggshells till things calmed down.
I still don’t get why it had to be so difficult. Why not just say it?
It’s natural to have bad mood moments or even days. We shouldn’t feel guilty or stuff the feelings pretending they don’t exist. When denied, those feelings only intensify.
Why not just say it? I’m in a bad mood today. I’m having a tough morning. I’m not myself. I’m out of sorts. If we can just say it, the people around us will know to give us love or patience, or to just get the hell out of the way till we return to a better frame of mind.
By being real and honest and owning what’s up for us, we will not only move through it more quickly, we’ll also help those around us understand what we need. The trick is knowing the way to say it, so we won’t be at a loss for words.
To manage a mood and avoid misunderstandings that result when your team doesn’t know what’s wrong, use simple direct “I” statements. They tell those around us clearly, that we’re off our game and need a little time.
Your “bad mood” warning could sound like this:
- “Right now I’m in a bad mood. I want you to understand it has nothing to do with you.”
- “I’m sorry to say I’m in a bad mood right now. I don’t want to take it out on you.”
- “I would appreciate your understanding. Today, I’m not feeling myself. If you can give me some distance this morning, it would be a help.”
- “I am not feeling patient right now. I need some quiet time. Think you could give me some space till I can move through this?”
- “Katy today is going to be a busy day at the office so I wanted to give you a head’s up. I had a horrible start to my morning and need some time to turn that around. I’ll check in with you in about an hour.”
- “Mike, I’ve got some personal things on my mind right now and they’re affecting my mood. Just wanted to let you know, if I seem short, it has nothing to do with you.”
- “I need you to know I’m really angry right now, but not with you. If you can just leave me alone for a bit while I figure things out, I’d appreciate that.”
Just say it! It will give you the space you need to shift gears without wasting the energy of those around you.
In the workplace, productivity won’t suffer with your employees tiptoeing around you not knowing what’s wrong or if it’s them you are angry at. And at home, everyone will relax when they learn you’re in a bad mood, but it has nothing to do with them.
Pick your favorite line above. Or make up your own and give others warning when you’re not at your best. Everyone benefits.